My boy

The biggest deal in my life right now is Olyver turning ONE. In ONE week. I feel sad. This year flew by. I just look back and regret things already. I wish I wasnt so tired when I was working nights. I just want to be the best mom I can be. I want him to.have the best life. I want him to be happy and healthy. I want him to know I'll always love him, no matter what.

He is amazing. I cant put it into words. He is calm like his dad. He is mischievous. Curious. An absolute entertainer. Hilarious. He loves to laugh and make people laugh. He loves, with his whole heart like his momma. His puppies bring him so much happiness.

He runs all day long, non stop. Goes goes goes. He started walking right before he was 10 months. He is so smart. It absolutely amazes me.

He is definitely a boy. Hes stubborn when he wants to be. He loves food. The kid will eat onions! He loves drinks. Just like his daddy. Carrying them around all day. He loves his aunts and uncles. His gammie emal and him are in absolute love. He loves his daddy. When Wes walks in the room Oly runs up to him right away. He loves his momma. We make each other laugh all day long. We have snuggle time. He has so many of the same mannerisms as my dad. Sometimes ill look at him and it just takes my breath away. I know hes apart of him.

This little boy is loved. By so many people. He is lucky. But every one of us are even more lucky. He is an amazing boy. There is no other way to put it.

Just stupid stuff

Im so exhausted right now..
Im tired of dealing with the past.
Im tired of feeling like I'm "crazy"
Because I'm not.
No one gets what I've been through.
And I would give anything to talk to someone who did get it. And who knows how I feel.

And to add on to my ridiculous complaining. Im preeettttty tired of being in pain. Especially the past week. Its been absolutely horendous. To the point that im vomiting at night from pain. Its making my legs and back ache. I hate it. I cant wait to go to the dr friday. Hopefully he'll schedule surgery. Or do anything to help. I don't care at this point.

I'm lucky I have Olyver. He makes me happy. He makes me forget about the pain. Hes perfect.
I love my bug.

My Oly is a pro!

My boy has been walking for a few weeks. But, hes now all over!
Hes sooo good at it. A straight up professional! He takes off all by himself!
I cant believe how fast hes grown.Pics and vids coming soon! Our laptop is broken :(

Religion

I dont talk about it much, but I am a spiritual girl. I keep it more to my self. I was baptised Mormon. Am I Mormon? No. Am I baptist? No. Catholic? No.

Does that make me a bad person? No.

I believe in God. Before Olyver I didnt KNOW. But, something about carrying a baby, and then giving birth to him. You just can't deny that there is a higher power.

I believe there is a heaven, and a hell. I believe if your a good genuine loving person, regardless of if you go to church or not, drink, smoke, etc than you will go to heaven. I dont think people who attend church regularly and "follow" all of their churches rules are better than me or anyone else.

I dont believe in organized religion. I think its good to a certain point. I think it gets the best of people. Everything I've ever learned points to God being a supporting, loving person. He would not love anyone less because of their decisions.

For some odd reason so many people think they can play God and judge everyone around them because they arent doing what they think they should. People become hateful, judgemental, and hypocritical.

I'm going to give Olyver something many parents dont give their children, a choice. He will decide what, if any, church he wants to be apart of. He will make a choice of what HE believes in. Not what Wesley or I believe. He will know I believe in God. Ill pray with him. Ill take him to different churches. But, I refuse to force him to believe in something. Im going to teach him not to judge people because of their beliefs or decisions.

I want him to be and do what makes HIM happy. I'm sure I wont always agree, but I will love that boy with all of my heart regardless.

The truth and nothing but it :)

I have thee most amazing husband.
Seriously. He supports me in everything. I'm so nervous to go to school for so many reasons and he just makes every one of those reasons just disappear because he knows how bad I want it!

He works his butt off for us. He gets hardly any sleep to work and spend time with me. Anything I say I want he does everything possible to give it to me.

This weekend I was in horrible pain and sick. He constantly asked if he could do or get anything for me.

I am extremely ocd. About everything. I obsess over the dumbest things and worry way too much and he always makes me feel better.

Olyver is starting to walk so we practiced all weekend. Everytime Wesley stood him up to get him started he'd kiss Olyvers head! Wesley is thee sweetest dad and husband on earth. Everything he does is for Oly and I.

We are so lucky.

Another

So this is just something on my mind.
Another baby
I go through my mind every day why I do and why I don't want another..

I dont because I want to keep the somewhat okay body I have(haha) and I hate working nights.. I miss wesley and if we had another id be working nights for atleast 5 more years. Its the most exhausting thing ever. I want to go to school before we have another.

I want a little sister for olyver but know chances are we'll have a lil brother.. And thats still perfect.
I want to be pregnant one more time. Its the absolute most amazing thing ever. I love being a mom. More than anything. I love seeing that smile. I love comforting and taking care of him. I love entertaining him. How could I not do this again? How could I pass this up? I know it will be hard and exhausting. Of course I dread that part. Haha. But its all worth it in the end.

Whatever happens will happen..
We have our little booger.. Thats all that matters now

Stay at home

I absolutely love being a stay at home mama and wife. I get to take care of my babies all day every day!

Although its not good, Olyver is obsessed with me. It makes everything hard but, I secretly love it. He wants to play talk and snuggle all day. He loves following me from room to room. And just cant get enough of crawling and walking. I don't know how I do it haha!

Hes the happiest baby you'll ever meet. Non stop smiles and laughs. He thinks everything (especially when hes being naughty) is funny. arty and lila are his best buddies. He loves following them and is always sooo excited to see them. He definitely likes who he is. Posing for pictures, staring at his pictures and in the mirror with the biggest smile. He waves hi and bye non stop. Mama and dada are his only words so far, and it melts my heart every single time.

I could go on and on. I'm sure who ever reads this gets a lil sick of me talking about him. But, hes all I think about!

He makes me happy, beyond happy.