My husband is better than yours :)

You are the strength,

That keeps me walking.

You are the hope,

That keeps me trusting.

You are the light,

To my soul.

You calm the storms,

And you give me rest.

You hold me in your hands,

You won't let me fall.

You steal my heart,

And you take my breath away.

You are my purpose,

You're everything.

I am just so in love.

He moved to Utah from Texas just to be with ME. He left everything, risked everything. Just for me.

He's my husband, best friend, love, partner, soul mate. He makes me laugh like no other. He is the dad of our sweet boy, and I could never dream of a better dad for Olyver. He is patient and hard working. He is everything I strive to be. He makes me happier than I ever thought possible. He is amazing.

He's my everything!

Tonights beauty

Tonight I was making Olyvers rice cereal, Wesley came up behind me and was holding our boy. I looked behind me and instantly just started bawling. I looked at my little Olyvers beautiful eyes and immediately saw Wesley.

I can't believe it. I simply can't wrap my mind around that Olyver is ours or that I'm Wesleys.

For some reason he loves me and chose me. Ill never understand why he did. All I know is he did and I'm lucky. Not only did I marry him.. But I had his amazingly perfect baby that is his complete twin!

How does it get any better than this?

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Killing? bad. Dexter? good!

DUN DUN DUN

And you think teen mom and jersey shooore is good!

I have an addiction.

And it's not killing.

This show is fabulous. But it makes me paranoid.

Now I think EVERY one could possibly be a serial killer.

If you haven't seen this,

get netflix, and watch it.

You will be forever grateful to me!



My bestest buddy

His name is Olyver!

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Poop explosion

I dealt with my first poop explosion today.

Oly got me.

He got me good!

And him self, his binky, his bouncer, feet and onesie.

I was truely amazed.

Who knew a little boy could make such a mess?

What amazed me the most is how I could love someone who

crapped all over me and my entire house.

If Wes would have done that, I don't care how much I love my husband.

I wouldn't have been happy.

:)

My Olyver boy!

I have thee most beautiful boy on earth.

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Day 6

Something you hope you never have to do

This is hard. I have many fears, but most I know I shouldnt even think about.

I hope I never see Olyver go.

Wesley and I talked about this and I told him I can't even imagine

the pain I would feel.

It would be unbareable.

I don't know how people do it.

I don't want to go too deep into that because even the thought of it kills me!

This whole 30 day challenge will probably take me 120 days. Just a warning. :)

January 17

This day haunts me.

I lost my sweet daddy 12 years ago today.

My whole world came to a halt.

I was 9 years old and will never forget every detail.

I thought my dad was just taking a nap in the other room,

and still to this day I wish I would have woke him up earlier.

Maybe I could have saved him.

This broke my heart for so long.. It still tends to.

But I've slowly realized it was out of my hands.

I can picture his face and how happy he would be to hold his grand baby.

He would be the proudest grandpa ever.

I know how very proud of me he is. I know he would absolutely LOVE Wesley.

I know he is waiting for my beautiful mother. I know he loves us kids more than anything.

I know I will get to see him again.

If I didn't know these things the pain I feel without him would be unbearable.

Late night rambling!

I DREAD night.

Normal moms cannot wait to sleep.  

But ugh, for months now I have nightmares all night

I dream that Wesley cheats on me and leaves me, that Olyver is being taken away, and that people are trying to kill me.

I go to sleep terrified because I know I'm going to wake up panicking 30 minutes later.

I wake up every 15-30 minutes all night long.

Every time I do I look at the time HOPING that its time to wake up.

Sleeping has become something I dread.

I'm sooo exhausted though.

It can't be very good to be waking up so much and I'm sure even worse that the sleep I do get I am panicking the entire time!

I just want a normal 8 hours of sleep!

Anyways, enough of my problems.

Olyver is changing like crazy. His voice has changed.

He wants to play all day long, and I love it.

He gets longer every day haha.

He's constantly excited. He throws his arms and I LOOOOVE it.

I wake up to him talking.. And bring him in bed with me..

We lay together for an hour and just talk. He smiles so big at me the whole time.

And the whole time I stare at him wondering how I got so freakin lucky!

I can't believe how precious he is!

I love my Olyver so much.