January 17

This day haunts me.

I lost my sweet daddy 12 years ago today.

My whole world came to a halt.

I was 9 years old and will never forget every detail.

I thought my dad was just taking a nap in the other room,

and still to this day I wish I would have woke him up earlier.

Maybe I could have saved him.

This broke my heart for so long.. It still tends to.

But I've slowly realized it was out of my hands.

I can picture his face and how happy he would be to hold his grand baby.

He would be the proudest grandpa ever.

I know how very proud of me he is. I know he would absolutely LOVE Wesley.

I know he is waiting for my beautiful mother. I know he loves us kids more than anything.

I know I will get to see him again.

If I didn't know these things the pain I feel without him would be unbearable.